Can you think of a time when your child was in a full-blown state of dysregulation? Have you ever found yourself trying to reason with them in that moment and then become frazzled yourself because they are not open to hearing you? Research today tells us that when any human is experiencing this level of heightened emotion, parts of the brain responsible for reasoning become inaccessible. This is beautifully explained with the “flipped lid” model.
How do we help our children learn skills necessary to cope? Dr. Montessori knew the importance of a neutral state of mind. It is through “Grace and Courtesy” lessons that an adult models certain desired/appropriate behaviors/movement. She understood the importance of allowing children opportunities to practice these skills before they need them. Practicing effective coping skills is a great way to prepare children for those big emotions.
Another tool that has proven to be incredibly effective for children is something called “social stories.” Social stories are books originally created by Carol Gray to help children experiencing Autism cope and find success with the world around them. We now know that these stories can benefit and support all children. They are visual and verbal reminders from the child's perspective of what to do or what to expect when specific situations arise.
A favorite social story of ours talks about anger. The social story:
- Gives language for the emotions such as: being mad, angry or frustrated
- Validates those feelings without shame
- Lists all the ways the child might express their anger
- Sets boundaries on appropriate responses to feeling angry (not hurting others)
- Gives ideas of how to cope
- Naming the emotion
- Talk to a friend or family member
- Ask an adult for help
- Taking deep breaths
- Listen to music, go for a walk, get a sip of water, etc.
- Statement that this feeling won’t last forever, and they can help it pass by quicker if they use a coping strategy
Other situations that social stories can be helpful for:
- Upcoming transitions
- Sleep
- Toileting
- Waiting my turn
- Hitting and pushing
- Change of routines
- Respecting other’s personal space
- Voice volume control
- Greeting others
- And so many more!
These books are meant to be read, not in the moment but rather routinely throughout their day during neutral moments. If you find yourself stuck on how to support your child through a challenging season, consider using the power of a social story. Here are few great resources if you would like to learn more:
https://www.andnextcomesl.com/p/printable-social-stories.html
Compass Montessori Junior High -
On Tuesday, October 22nd our class took our annual trip to Detroit. We stayed in Hostel Detroit for the week. The first day consisted of visiting The Detroit Institute of Arts and getting groceries at Meijer. The Detroit Institute of Arts came with many cool experiences. We split into van groups to tour the museum with our guides. One exhibit we got to enjoy was the Ofrenda exhibit. The beautiful altars pay tribute to loved ones who have passed away. Currently, we are learning about the Day of the Dead in Spanish.
On day two, we headed to the Zekelman Holocaust Center. We learned about the tragic history of the Holocaust. We heard from Holocaust survivors about their heart-wrenching stories and experiences. We also got the chance to view Anne Frank's tree. During World War II Anne Frank went into hiding and she wrote in her journal about this special tree that stood outside her window. This horse chestnut tree gave Anne Frank hope about the future. Scientists found this very tree and created saplings. The saplings were given to many museums around the country. The Zekelman Center was given one and we got an incredible view of this tree. After this museum, we explored the Children’s Science Museum. We explored all the different levels of this amazing museum. We got the opportunity to view a dinosaur exhibit. This exhibit showed us what dinosaurs looked like many years ago as well as interactive displays. During the museum, we watched a documentary on the life of whales. To wrap up day two, Jessica Sullivan kindly got us tickets for the Pistons basketball game. The Detroit Pistons played the Indiana Pacers. The Pistons sadly fell to the Pacers 115 to 109. But it sure was a great game! We enjoyed pizza and got to shoot free throws after the game ended. Our class was also featured on the Jumbotron. This was definitely the highlight of the night for most people.
On day three, we got to catch up on sleep with a late start to our day. Our first activity was at 11:00 when we drove to Historic Fort Wayne. Historic Fort Wayne was a five point star fort where the army would fire their weapons at the Canadian shore. It is also a sacred Native American burial ground which was very sad to see. After the tour we enjoyed a packed lunch and some recess. Once we had finished at the park we decided to walk around downtown Detroit. It was so fun to see all the buildings and sights. Before dinner, we made one last stop which was an old building and we learned all about the architecture. Dinner was at Detroit Shipping Co. It was so good and we had so much fun. We played bags, Connect 4, and of course we couldn't leave without getting the whole class to sing karaoke on two microphones. That was definitely an experience none of us will forget. Before the night ended we went to this pop-up shop called the Pink Flamingo where we bought treats like lemonade and cookies. This night and the game were definitely unforgettable.
On day four, (our last day in Detroit) we woke up very early to pack up. After spending the whole morning packing suitcases, washing sheets and checking everything we headed home. Before fully leaving we made one last stop to the state capital in Lansing. We heard from Betsy Coffia’s legislative director, Ashley. We heard all about how she got into politics and her life. After we heard from her we got a tour of the state capitol. It was very cool. We even got to see Governor Whitmer's office! After the tour, we drove the three hours back to Traverse City.
We would like to thank our guides and chaperones for the opportunity to take this amazing trip. We would also like to thank all of the tour guides that showed us the ropes during many of the museums! Thank you!
Written by Gwennie Goodreau and Ava Hagerty